My 2023 joy list
Happy Sunday, Soothers. One thing I really love about working with practices like feng shui and astrology is that they give you multiple re-starting points on the year. As you all know, many of us celebrate January 1 as the start of a new year. But, even as a January baby (holler to all my fellow Capricorns) I struggle with that as a fresh starting point. We still have three months of mucky cold and gray to get through (at least in the northern hemisphere). I've barely recovered from the holidays. I have no energy. I want to sleep 10 hours a night and eat only bread. And you're telling me it's a fresh start and I should set all of my goals for an entire year ahead? Okay, buddy.
Better for me are the Lunar New Year (early February, where, while it still may be mucky cold for another couple of months, spring at least seems like a feasible event rather than an impossibility), or, even better, the astrological new year in late March, where we pass the spring equinox and enter Aries season.
Aries is the first sign of the astrological zodiac. In Western astrology, the point of Aries is the point in which the Sun crosses the celestial Equator into the North Celestial hemisphere. It's on or very near the Spring Equinox, and it is this moment of the year that makes much more intuitive sense to me as a true start to the year. Daffodils are pushing up through the ground; the light is getting longer; the sun is saying hello a little more often; my mood is 50% less shitty; and I can see my way around setting intentions.
Much like you might start planning your garden and planting your seeds or seedlings around this time of late March and Aries season, so too, may I suggest it as a true new start of a new year, and a beautiful and potent time to set goals or intentions.
As I was journaling during the recent Aries season Sunday Soother New Moon Journal Circle, the intentions I wanted to set in my life were much more about joy. I've started to come out of a tough season of depression and apathy. I've checked all the reasons; cold weather and lack of light, yup. I've had SAD for ages now. Moving to a new-to-me but really old house where I'm freaked out about the responsibility and costs and don't really know anybody yet? Sure. Aging and peri-menopause? Definitely a possibility. But otherwise, my self-care and nutrition (things that can heavily contribute to my mood) have been on point. So what else might it be?
As I reflected, the answer came through. I had little in my life that contributed to joy and pleasure.
I had been so focused on the responsibility of the house, and continuing to work in and on my business, and also just huddling down through winter, that I had made about, oh, zero room for play, for joy, for fun, for pleasure. And whenever I am missing joyfulness and play from my life, it reflects in my mood. My inner child gets quite low, thinking she is caught in a hamster wheel of dutiful work and responsibility and gray living, that could quite easily go on forever.
So I have decided to use the astrological new year to set joy and play intentions for the rest of 2023. Taking a line from Gretchen Rubin, who I think a few years ago started creating a list of things to do in a year (like in 2019, she set a list of 19 goals, in 2020, 20, so on and so forth), I've created a 23 joyful things to do in 2023. And I'm sharing it with you today.
(And yes, it may seem that making a list of joyful things to do can seem a bit heavy and dour. But for me, creating lists gives me joy and structure and agency and a plan, which all thrill me. There's that Capricorn in me.)
All that involved being on the list was that an item gave me a sense of sparkle. It couldn't relate to work. It had to seem like an adventure, big or small. When I thought about doing it, it would be something that made me smile.
This really also had me go down a memory lane, because one of my favorite things I ever did in life was do a 30 while 30 project back when I blogged at this site just about 13 years ago. I picked goals like "cook a new recipe every week" to "learn to pitch a tent" to "cook a five course meal." Then I documented every thing on my blog, which was so fun! I didn't accomplish everything that year; I fell in love, and as I tend to do, got swept up in a relationship and gave over on my goals (sigh; I didn't know about boundaries and self-abandonment at that point in my life!). But I still did a lot, and it gave me a sense of joy and agency that reminded me, that yes, I am the powerful creator of my life, so let's get going.
Ready to hear my 2023 list? Here you go:
Create a container garden (I'd love to do raised beds and something bigger since we have yard space but I think that's more a 2024 plan)
Go to Italy!!! (I minored in Italian, lived there for a year after college and went back several times in my 20s & early 30s but it's been about a decade since I've been. Specifically want to return to Florence/Tuscany.)
Cook 23 recipes from a cookbook. (Cooking brings me great joy and yet it's something I prioritize least. I picked up Smitten Kitchen's Keepers cookbook and already made #1 and #2 - the salted walnut brittle chocolate chip cookies and the white pork ragu.)
Hike the tallest mountain in Virginia (turns out this is Mount Rogers, at 5,729 feet, about five hours south of where I am in Virginia. I get it's not like hiking a 14-er or anything but we work with what we got!)
Run a 10k (or if I feel bold, a 10 miler) race. (I find something so weirdly fun and soothing in training for a race. I'm nowhere near in shape or have the time this year to do a full marathon or even a half, but a 10k sounds great!)
Go on a girls' trip. (I don't care if it's an airbnb down the road from me, it doesn't have to be anywhere fancy, I just want an uninterrupted weekend with dear girlfriend where we just eat, laugh and drink wine.)
Repaint the house. (This sounds kind of boring but the majority of the interior of this house is painted in this cold slate blue color that I kind of hate, and I want to start with just a fresh coat of bright white in every room, and that will give me a lot of brightness and therefore a lot of joy.)
Go back to Sedona. (Maybe I could combine girls trip and a trip back to my favorite spiritual place on earth??)
Go to the beach. (The beach gives me great joy. Sitting in the sand under a hot sun, rinsing off in the ocean, and doing it repeatedly is nothing short of a miracle, in my opinion. Yet I rarely make time to go to a beach even though we have plenty of decent ones close in Virginia, Maryland and Delaware.)
Rent a Potomac Appalachian Trail cabin with some friends for a weekend. (These PATC cabins don't have plumbing, electricity and you often have to hike in miles to reach them, but they're such an adventure.)
Host a dinner party! (We have a big old dining room and I haven't used it yet!)
Do a solo night of camping. (This was on my 30 while 30 list and I never did it then but I have so much more outdoor experience and confidence I'm looking forward to it this time. Plus I have some gentle state parks near me I could do this easily in.)
Host a Sunday Soother meetup!!! (I have no idea where, when [but probably the DC area, probably summer or fall], no idea what it would look like [a more formal event where I speak & teach & facilitate, or just a meetup at a bar type space?] but if you're local-ish to me and would be into this, email me any thoughts!
Throw a solstice party. (Winter solstice or summer solstice I don't care, I am determined to have our yard become a solstice destination.)
Get a paid in-person Feng Shui consultation. (I said no work things but FS barely feels like work and while I've done some short virtual consultations, I would LOVE to work with somebody in their home and see what results we can net for them. I also do want to incorporate FS more into my work overall and this would be a great opportunity to learn more and do this.)
Have friends over for a Pride & Prejudice marathon. (Okay, I KNOW others of you out there are as obsessed I was/am with the 1995 BBC version of Pride & Prejudice. The 2005 one is also excellent but the BBC series is like six hours long so I am thinking me and some girlfriends make a day of it, eat cookies, drink tea, and lounge about like we're 15 and watching this again.)
Relatedly, binge on my own a movie or TV series in one weekend, and maybe make some themed food to go along with it. (One of my greatest joys in life is great TV series and great movies, and I've really let this fall by the wayside. I can see myself binging LOTR or maybe rewatching the first season of the Wheel of Time - I have a thing for fantasy series. Not sure what, er, themed food goes along with any of these, but I'm sure I can figure something out.)
Find the wolf den boulders in my town and explore. (A neighbor a while ago told us about a series of boulders/caves that are hikeable to on the edge of our town and I think they are called wolf's den - though maybe I am making that up?? Sounds like something out of a 1980s kid adventure movie so I'm into it.)
Related, climb to the top of Short Hill Mountain. (Our house is at the base of this plainly-named mountain, which, yes, is more like a short hill. Yet, even short hills have a top that would be fun to go to! I'm intrigued to figure out how or if I can make it up there - it might be private land, but we'll figure it out!)
I'll be totally honest, I got joy-list-making fatigue and don't know what the last four items, 20-23, will be! But I'm sure I'll figure them out. Got any thoughts on what I should do? Reply and let me know!
But there's most of my 23 joyful things for the year! I'll be documenting the outcomes of these 23 joyful things to do in 2023 over on the Secret Soother, my paid subscription newsletter, if you want to tag along.
But either way, for now, I invite you to consider late March and early April a new starting point for the year. Maybe you'd like to start a 23 joyful things in 2023 project list, too. If you do, share away. Joy compounds joy, and I'd love to hear what makes you sparkle. It would give me great joy.